Sexual harassement and sexual intimidation appear to be issues at the moment, because of a presidential candidate.
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| foto van onderstaande website |
And because I am a woman, one of the older bloggers who worked almost all her life, ánd also to help to improve the self-confidence of men on the subjects, I will try to describe my point of view.
Let us first make a statement that is safe
Intimacy, sex, and talking and joking about it…
- belong in a *bedroom with a person that you love and know well enough, to be familiar with his/her likings!
*bedroom: read also private environment at home.
In this first statement, beside what it is literally saying, there are two very important expressions: the word “private” and “with a person you love and know well enough…”
And there starts the danger:
1. At any other place then home;
2. with any other person than the one you love and know well enough…
Let us make a few other statements that can help us
The joker is responsible for his joke.
The speaker is responsible for what he is saying.
It is not like some people think:
I make a joke and you have no sense of humour.
It’s: I make a joke…
and sorry I made a bad joke that you could not appreciate.
I am sorry that I have made a remark that you could not appreciate.
A statement about work
Intimacy, sex, and talking and joking about it…
- do not, at any time, belong at work!
Meaning…
that when you dó make an exception to the rule, you have to be “very” sure that it will be appreciated by everyone present.
When it is not, it will immediately be sexual harassment at all times, for every person who did not appreciate it.
So, to make this insecure situation very clear:
Intimacy, sex, and talking and joking about it are very dangerous at work, and not wise.
It can ruin the way people look at you.
It can ruin a good business relationship.
Not everyone will make openly clear to you that they did not appreciate it, but they will think not well of you anymore.
And when you want to make a promotion, people who did not appreciate your behaviour will object to that, which may be considered as normal.
We are not all the same; some rules must be kept!
And when an important and responsible job announces, people will want someone who feels safe and responsible, as the job requires.
With these descriptions of my opinion I hope I will have been able to contribute to the discussion to consider and reconsider the subject, in order to make people móre secure in the future in how to behave, and to help them to be aware... and of what the consequences may be if they choose not to.
Hermine Van Sande
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